He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
