WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
