I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
