You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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