I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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