Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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