At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
