are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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