listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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