you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Shame - the story of my life.
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