i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
