OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
