There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize