I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
