Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
