What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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