we have pet lesbian snakes
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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