It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
