Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Randomize
