Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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