My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Panties = found
Randomize
