Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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