He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
