I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
