Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I have post one night stand depression
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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