Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
