everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
