this beer tastes like vomit already
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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