Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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