Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
