It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
