What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
