You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
