Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
