READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize