you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
