This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
