Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
