btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
