Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
