U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
