I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
