You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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