The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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