So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
