the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
