I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
We had to coat check the pizza.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
