david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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