I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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