I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
