there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
