He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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