Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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