and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
