I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
