5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
