How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
