Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Dick very happy bro
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