Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Say something about gay babies.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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