Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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